Campbellwonky

Like the Alice story, this has been sitting in my computer for a few years now, and certainly topical. It was added to the discs as an extra.

‘Twas Colin and the grimy Ralph

Did giggle and stumble in the vat;

All tipsy were the brother’s selves,

Potent fumes saw to that.

“Beware the Campbell bro’s, my son!

The grape that bites, the vines that catch!

Beware the Thunderbird and shun

Their foul fermented grape batch!”

But he took his cork screw twist in hand:

Long time the brothers two he sought –

So rested he by a dead oak tree,

And scratched his nether parts in thought.

And, as in stunned like thought he stood,

The Campbell boys, eyes red like flame,

Came stumbling through the dead vine wood,

And farted as they came!

Drink one! Drink two! You’re drunk, me too!

The cork screw twist went scree-scree pop!

The bottles were dead, nothing else could be said,

The brothers fell down with a plop.

“And, has thou drunk with the Campbell boys?

Get out of my car, you stupid boy!

Don’t you dare puke in here! Be quick! Outside!

Or the upholstery you’ll destroy.”

‘Twas Colin and the grimy Ralph

Did giggle and stumble in the vat;

All tipsy were the brother’s selves,

Potent fumes saw to that.