Again very primitive, but then again so are we.

The story reads:

The Campbell Brother's Winery, Legal Division, is indeed nervous and hesitant to introduce its Signature Series of almost entilely not unlike wine beverages. In this series each bottle is signed and numbered by a convicted felon, in prison. Collect all 175,000.
Just how these two brothers managed to manouver the whole prison system into allowing them to use prisoners as their own private labour pool is beyond our comprehension.
They also appear to be retailing the beverage, after production, back to the inmates themselves.
Undoubtedly the fact that Ralph is up for early parole has fueled their zeal to make a fast buck in order to skip the country once he is released.
What incentives, bribes, kickbacks, coersion or threats the brothers have used in order to secure their position, and at what levels, is not known.
The winery, for want of a better term, is apparently located in an abandoned petro-chemical facility. Why? Well Colin is reported to have said... "Because its got lots of pretty pipes."
Confirmation on much of the detail in this story is difficult to abtain because the factory is heavily guarded and the fence has been electrified.
Warning, this procuct was not produced from grapes. It is also extremely flamable. Keep out of reach. We, the legal staff, expect that the probability of law suits arising from the release of this procuct on an unsuspecting public is, as the name states, a "Lead Pipe Cinch".

See, we’re already starting to get wordy in our stories.