Gypsy Curse

Here was another idea from Ralph. Again it was in the historical perspective with people elements taken from his friends and clogging associates from the Port Perry area.

The story, again, is so long that I won't try to post the actual rear label (it would only cause eyestrain), I'll just include the story which is:

Does bad luck run in streaks or is it just a fact of life for those vague ancestors of the Campbells?

It was one of those nights when it was not only dark but so far beyond dark that regular dark was noon by comparison. It gave night a whole new meaning and a funny smell. Stumbling through the forest two brothers, Ralp and Coin Camell literally ran into gypsies, because the cow they were carrying did not have any windows.

The gypsies, led by Paulski the Prancing Prince and his wife Princess Karentoboggan (she couldn’t spell ski), decided to make them members of their band of traveling troubadours known as the Outhouse Stomping Troupe and Fortune Telling Extravaganza. Not only did they feel sorry for these two lost souls but they also thought steak would be a pleasant addition to their diet, a change from cabbage anyway.

Within two days of close contact with the brothers they regretted that decision.

The brothers were ultimately cast out; not because they stole one of the gypsy wagon wheels and used it to mash the ingredients for their next batch of wine (which ate away half of the steel rim), not that they then tried to sell the wheel back to them, nor was it because of the explosion caused by their infamous gaseous chili that leveled half the camp. It wasn’t even that Ralp kept trying to sell their children, or that Coin stole the gypsy treasure (7 coins, 3 earrings, a cheap necklace, and a spangly bra). Their fatal mistake was to sell the gypsies some of their new batch of wine.

The wine was made from old dead Christmas trees, jack-o’-lanterns, stinkhorn mushrooms, and left over cow parts. It wasn’t so much the foul taste or the vicious kick to the wine they objected to, but the coat of cowhide it left on their tongues, a tendency for their stomachs to moo, and runs that ran like a river.

Also, it must be admitted, it was felt that the brothers were soiling their reputations, and the tarot cards revealed the future would end badly for them all if the two stayed.

The brothers were cursed vehemently and forced to leave, without the spangly bra.

As for the curse, it actually caused an improvement to Rolp and Coin’s normal standard of living.

So try, if you dare, to sample the drink known as the Gypsy Curse.